(( BlooD LuSttE ))

2005-02-11T20:56:00.000-08:00

i'm lost lonelii sad

2005-02-02T01:58:00.000-08:00

maybe life is just a SUCKY place where you have to endear all the pain. If i was happy, you'll be sad , if i was sad you'll be happy rite?... i can experience all the emotions in many ridiculous forms. Heartbreaks and backstabs, friendships and relationships. although manii people don't talkk loudli in front of me, i can feel their eyes all over my back as i walk away. i feel so dirty, unkempt, uncleanse. but do they know how i feel inside, my heart has been crying everidae single day since i entered secondary school. but no one knows, cause it's on the inside. maybe dey do not knoe the hard life i'm leading
i'm changing
a different me wich you can see clearly, but no, you refuse to look on the other side. maybe life was meant to be. my life in fact. and i don't tink i can continue living on lik dis
i dreamt of death manii a times before and i feel his presence all day. his dere, lik a guard, preparing to take all my happiness away. i may die soon. very. everyone lived for a reason. to prepare for the sad outcome of death. maybe life is just too hard to live on. maybe.

anyway i'm just having a suckii day
inspiring to change the who i am .

2004-12-30T01:18:00.000-08:00

bleahhhsss . . . bored ehhsss.... now at home lor. i'm just totalii dying of boredom but den hu cares aniwae. the werl doesn't change just becos i'm boredd... lol... did i just sae that out of a script. diao. but wadever. aniwae i'm just so ecstated.. ani way i haf loadds of things to say here so here goes. dunno last week or wadd but i just rmb is a few days b4 xmas we haf party at hme. sian ehhsss. den gort loadds unknown ppl around. but ani way made frens wit loaddss ppl. gt tis particular guy rayster. i swear that is one shit of a name. hu has a name lik dat huh?so nv mind. he's nice. a ABC american born chinese so yarr. mixed guys are cute. LOL. aniwae he went back to Ny so sad larrs.
den if i was nt wrong i went out wit sophia last week. den i went to stead's hse to loan $ cause my pockets empty lol. atm card kena wad to do. so yepp. den i went to orchard wit ah fia. den wanted to meet dez den dat stupid idiot wan go hme sleep./ walao ehh. den stead happy lo. go out wit her stead dun go out wit me. haha! den wanted to watch kungfu but all full sia. so i went to fia's hme. her lil babi bro ish so godd damn kewt. shane. haha! den i stayed dere til lik 10 + den took cab hme. lolss... tiring daee... but it ended newae. so todae i am at hme trying to get the com to work `en i ended up lap-topping.LAMER. `en stead went m'sia w/o telling me. LOLS. me ish complete idiot. sure evrione agrees. *smirkk

2004-12-18T13:29:00.000-08:00

hmm . .. so bored today . . miss stead . . . todae i woke up quite earlii` . . cause mum wants me to watch the playbacks of meteor garden . . . i mean it's all a lovey dovey storii . . . so yarr . .. so not interested. i dun even find f4 kewt. so after dat i took a bath . .. yiheng messaged me . . . whopps. . .i thot he was still angry wit me for mentioning myra . . . but everitink's ok .. . den he suddenlii nvr reply lerr . .. he must haf gone out lerr bahh .. . . everidae go out de . . . actualli was suppose to go out wit mum and sis to get presents . . haha . . but dint lohh . . wanna blogg see . .. haha! miss stead . . heard she `en her family are going to bali . .. hmmm . . . is bali nice?? .. . hmmm. . . dat's all i guess . . . will blogg wen i'm free . . . =p

2004-12-17T16:44:00.000-08:00

** weets. wahaha . . i'm bored . . haven't be blogging for days. deleted all my previous blog cause i think it all suck to da core.
during the past 13 years of my life i thot that i couldn't live w/o guys . but yea. now things are easier . cause lesbians rocks! ytd de ytd i went out wit stead . . . we went parkway larr . . cause stead wanna but skates so yea . . she bought a fila one for 100+ den after that go pierce ears lorr . . . den went back to skul ... suprise. got ncc land people dere. haha. den just go walk walk around lorr . . . den we went to the video shop aqt the bus stop . . stead ate cup noodles `en i ate ice cream . . we waited for dez , our go0o0o0d friend den he miss one stop den hafta walk back. after which we go ecp lorr . . . fun lehhss . . . but mum's angry so hai dao everione must go home earlii` . .. dez is so lame. but nvr mind . we're lame la. =p . .. . had a good tym bahhs . . i guess . . . everything's changing now . .. but it's good . . . yea . . miss brigitte `en da rest . . . maybe i'm gonna ask `em out one of dese days .. . lorve ya stead! muackks*